Ticket to Heaven
by Genius-626
Summary: He wondered how this world hadn't ruined her faith; how her childhood alone hadn't scarred her into doubting the existence of God. How had she known? But he knew now, faith had nothing to do with knowledge. Knowledge had nothing to do with faith.
1. Third Time's the Charm

Updated 2/12/12

**A/N: yo, this is my first Constantine fic. Just saw the movie and I love it. Can't shake this idea, so I thought I'd procrastinate and write it. I haven't read too much from this region of the fan fiction universe, so sorry if any content is similar to anything else in existance. I'm honestly not sure where this story could go past the first few chapters, so I'll post what I've got unless anyone has any requests. Please enjoy.**

Ticket to Heaven

Chapter 1: Third Time's the Charm

He found another cigarette buried in the couch. When he'd started at the early age of fifteen, it was for the high. And the rebellion. It was against the law, so it was fun. Little did he realize the dangers and discomforts it would cause him in the future. Little did he know that in the fututre, he would actually want to live and redeem himself. And that was even before Angela. It quickly became one of the only things he knew he could rely on. The subtle high, the calming of his mind. A constant. He needed it then.

Technically, he still needed the nicotine now. But that would fade with time.

It was a fragile existence, he knew. He knew more than most men should, but that never stopped him. He constantly chose to challenge the balance of his life, because the balance, he knew, was not in his favor. It hadn't been for a long time.

Not since he lost his life the first time.

Life. The word meant many things, and yet it meant nothing to him. At least, it never had.

He would have never admitted it—to anyone—but he wanted to go to Heaven. This want was no ordinary desire, this was a goal, the only goal a near soulless man had to live for. The afterlife was the only thing he had to look forward to, eternity substantially more important than this immortal "life." He knew this world too well, and he hated it. Nothing had ever appealed to him, having been scarred as a child; neglected as well as tormented by the demons. He had no place, though seemed to have a purpose, this purpose supposedly self-explanatory. He worked at the mercy of others-to help others-but for selfish reasons, therefore never gaining the acceptance he craved. Oh how he craved nothing else.

Something else he hated to admit was that Gabriel-that slimy, two faces bastard-had always been right about him. Damned "angel" nearly unleashed the most evil being to ever be threatened upon the earth with the intention to change just one man. He couldn't figure out if that was devotion, or insanity.

Either way, it got him to believe. And even with the world-almost-exactly the way it had been before he had that one glimpse of peace, he finally felt like there was something more to live for now that it wasn't just for himself.

So there really was a plan.

He heard a knock on the door. There was really only one person it could be, unless there was someone that needed a job to be done that didn't know his number. Somewhat reluctantly, he got up from his chair. He only opened the door a few inches out before he confirmed that it was Angela. For a split second, he hesitated, but decided against questioning and just let her in.

He'd lost so many friends-and they were his friends, no matter how badly he may have treated them. They were the only people he trusted, and trust was as good as friendship to him when only a slim few in this world could accept him; could understand him.

And right now, he believed that Angela was starting to understand him.

He was not the most sentimental man on the planet, but he did like to tease her. And for some reason, she was fine with it. She was smart, smarter than most people he knew, but why she put up with him he could only hope meant that she wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. He would never admit it, but he wanted her whenever she came; he wanted her to love him like he thought he did her. He'd never truly loved before, but if God really had a plan-if God had really promised him Heaven after all these years-then nothing was truly impossible.

"They're giving me hell downtown for the incident." She said, sitting across from him at the table.

That's what they were calling it, the "incident."

"They're going crazy trying to figure everything out."

"They won't find everything." Constantine replied, taking a drag. "They're going to run into a dead end."

"They've already hit it. They've started the investigation for Gabriel. How likely would it be for them to actually find him?"

"Well, now that he's grounded..." Constantine trailed off, thinking. "I don't know. He might get away with this, but then again, he could be lost right now."

There was some silence between them after that. He knew that she wanted to talk about things and was holding back for him, which he vaguely appreciated, never having been one to talk about one's feelings. He could sense her uncertainty about the future as well as her ultimate confidence in him. If anything catastrophic were to happen again, they would fight through it together.

At least, that was what she believed.

"There's nobody." Angela started to say, looking away momentarily, but quickly regaining her confidence in making the statement. "Now that I can see them again, now that I'm... myself again, there's nobody I can really talk to. It's almost like 'ignorance is bliss' except, I wouldn't trade this knowledge for the world."

Constantine simply nodded, knowing how badly she needed someone to talk to. He knew she still went to church and prayed to God often, but sometimes, human relations were just a bit more fulfilling. It was times like these when he almost wanted to tell her about the past, but he hadn't cared it for so long he didn't think it was all that necessary. Though it may be partially fulfilling having someone know; having someone help carry the load, it was in no way necessary. For now.

"I find myself talking to Isabel." Angela continued. "A lot of times it's in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. I keep apologizing for what I did to her. I wonder if I could ever forgive myself for it." she paused. "Could she hear me? When she was In hell?"

"Yes." he answered.

She nodded, her mind wandering back to the last glimpse of hell she'd had. He said not even a second had passed the instant in which she crossed over and came back. It had felt like hours, days since she'd been in his bathroom, held down underneath not even three feet of water.

"I have to go." she said suddenly. "I have a lot of work to do if I want this case to close any time soon, let alone get them off your back." She got up, thinking he wouldn't care to do the same when she let herself to the door, but he did.

"You'll need help." he said as she grabbed the door knob. She turned back.

"I will, will I?"

"Even if you don't," he leaned into her. "you know you want it."

They stood like that for a while.

"Well?" he asked.

"I'm thinking." she said, slyly. This earned her her a grin, one of his rare and fantastic grins. After another breathless moment, she finally said, "Sure."

…

She'd ended up making dinner, yet another excuse for him to stay longer. Frankly, he didn't want to leave only to return to a smoke stained, one room apartment. Not that solitude wasn't still appealing, but he found her presence in his life more than pleasant. His need for her was almost like his need to smoke, addicting yet tactful. Simply needed and needed simply.

It was equilibrium.

"Ever since you found my sister, " Angela said between bites. "the cat has been having nightmares."

"How can you tell?" he asked, amused by the comment. The cat rubbed against his leg from under the table, but his eyes remained on Angela.

"He meows at the top of his lungs." She rolled her eyes. "I have to wake him up half the night to get any sleep."

He laughed, it was a small, almost inaudible laugh, but it was one nonetheless. "Sorry."

A moment passed.

"You don't go to church, do you?" she asked.

"Nope. The church usually comes to me." which was true.

"Come with me."

"When?" Like that would change his answer.

She thought for a moment. "Tonight. Right now."

Constantine looked up at her. It had been a command, not a request. He was tempted, knowing how serious she was about church. He took this moment to think, finding this glimpse of a normal life strangely appealing. Eating dinner with the one woman he could ever imagine doing such mundane things with, then going to church afterwards. It was almost like a weird Twilight Zone episode, though that was an oxymoron. She made a balance that he could not afford to ignore. Or lose. Of course, he didn't want a normal life.

And neither did she.

He finally said, "I haven't gone in years."

"It's never too late."

His eyes remained on hers. He didn't know why this was such a big deal. If he declined, she would try and convince him otherwise. She probably wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer, so why fight it? Did it mean anything?

"Fine, I'll go."

She smiled. She'd won, that's why she was smiling.

…

The halls echoed at their every step. No one person turned from their prayers. The benches creaked at their weight.

It was surreal. Nothing had changed since he'd been here last. It was like a time capsule.

He wasn't sure that was a good thing.

He turned and watched Angela. Her face was placid, her eyes peacefully shut in concentration. He wondered how this world hadn't ruined her faith; how her childhood alone hadn't scarred her into doubting the existence of God. How had she known?

But he knew, faith had nothing to do with knowledge. Knowledge had nothing to do with faith.

He wondered if she'd ever confessed to betraying her sister; about pretending that she couldn't see the demons. He somewhat doubted it, her confession to him only a few weeks ago having seemed like the first she'd made to anyone, even a Priest.

It was a long while before she came back to earth. She'd meant to ask him if he'd prayed, but she somehow knew that that was too much to ask of him right now. But just as she got up with the intention of leaving with him, he stopped her, telling her to sit back down. As she did, she was partly astounded by what she saw.

There, just next to her, one of the most reserved yet outspoken men she'd ever met in her life put his hands together, bent his head down, and prayed to God. She could only imagine...he was opening up. He was actually changing for the better.

Had Gabriel been right?

He hadn't prayed long. Just when they were about to leave, a Priest stopped them.

"Constantine."

"Israel." He nodded, knowing the Priest. "This can't be a coincidence."

"Sadly, it isn't. Though, I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"What do you want?"

"Your help, as always."

"Where do I need to go?"

"I'll take you." he then looked at Angela, aware of who she was, unknowing if she was coming with them, although he hoped it was in the negative.

"She's coming." Constantine confirmed, a little on the edge from a nicotine lust. He fingered at the pack of gum in his jacket pocket.

"Follow me."

...

They were now walking leisurely every which way with no destination and for no real purpose. He couldn't remember the last time he'd spent time this way. He wasn't particularly enjoying the sights or the atmosphere even, but it wasn't bad.

He could sense her slight uneasiness. How she could still be affected by a simple exorcism was beyond him, having performed one on her. Maybe the experience was different when watching it happen to someone else. He'd never asked, and didn't intend to.

It was getting dark when they got back to her car. They were half way to her place when she stopped at a red light.

"Wait." she said.

"What?"

"I'm driving home. I forgot I had to drop you off." She leaned forward in her seat to check the street signs, mentally re-routing.

The thought crossed his mind and he wasn't going to stop himself this time.

He placed a hand over hers on the wheel, getting her attention. Without words, he leaned in and kissed her, their first. It'd been weeks and they'd both been holding back. It had almost been a game, but no more. He couldn't take it anymore, and he knew,

neither could she.

She'd kissed back, well aware that the streetlight had turned green and that there were people honking at them to move. She pulled away. "My place it is."

...

It was almost a battle for dominance, their lovemaking, though they knew they were equals. It wasn't so much from knowledge than it was the acknowledgment of their entwined energies. They were both passionate, forever increasing the other's need with every deliberate touch.

"You know I love you." Angela said in labored breaths.

"Yeah." Constantine replied, just as exhausted. "But you don't have to say it." It was true, they both _felt_ it. Their minds were both above mere utterences of such pure words.

"I know. But I wanted to."

He rolled over then, on his side, still releshing in the aftermath of their first night together. He tossed the idea of speaking a specific thought around in his head, subtle knots twisting in his stomache, preventing him from making a quick decision. She sensed his questioning himself.

"What is it?" She asked.

He hesitated, then realized how foolish it was to do so, unable to truly hide anything from her any longer, not that he needed to. Forgetting his usual smart remarks in the slightly lulled state he was now in, he came right out and said what was on his mind, just as she just had.

"This is my third chance at life, Angela. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Or..." his eyes flicked up for a second. "Accepted. You're my ticket to Heaven, you know that? So I'm sorry, but I'll have to hold onto you for a while. Probably until I die. Not that you have a choice or anything."

She couldn't help but smile at this, knowing the real truth. He'd done the right thing in self sacrifice to earn his way to Heaven, she wasn't the key or his "ticket" even if it was her he did it for.

"That's probably the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say. I shouldn't get used to that, should I?"

Now he was smiling, completely uncaring about sharing with her his happiness. "No, I wouldn't count on it."

...

He woke to a screaming Duck-the cat, ironically. It was at the foot of the bed, wrestling in it's sleep. He looked over to Angela, sleeping peacefully beside him, apparently immune to such outbursts. He sighed, reaching over to the cat and taking it in his arms, waking it up almost instantly. He found himself smiling, an odd feeling. He hadn't had a reason to smile until Angela. He half wished he could live life without worrying about her; without the need to protect her from the dangers of this world that she had so willingly stepped into.

But he knew, neither would have it any other way.


	2. Even Without Demons

**A/N: I'm apologizing in advance for how terribly cliché this next chapter will be. I hate myself for it, but no amount of self-loathing can stop my creative writer from expressing herself. **

**P.S. I'm making some facts up because I don't know some of the details. Correct me if I'm wrong. **

Ticket to Heaven

Chapter 2: Even Without Demons

He'd fallen into routine before he met Angela. It had taken time to accept that fact, but it was true. After a few years, it matter anymore. People didn't matter, people only screwed him over; only used him. Fear didn't matter, this world was nothing compared to hell. So why in this pointless period of time should a routine bother him? It was almost laughable to call it a routine-exorcisms and other worldly things involved and all-but for him, that was everyday life.

He couldn't say that his routine had changed much, but his lease on life was far different.

And far better.

He was looking for another driver. He didn't want to replace Chas, but the job had to be done if he didn't want to own a car. Or learn to drive one. It was an attachment and payment he still had no desire to pay any mind to. Angela had offered her assistance, but her job was too demanding to be on call for unpredictable exorcisms. Even if she could, he wouldn't have let her, he didn't want her to slip into such darkness. Though he knew, it was he who had reintroduced her to such a world.

He had underestimated Chas. He'd known of the young cab driver's burning desire to become what he had so naturally become himself, but his denying Chas had been for his protection. Constantine was convinced he wasn't ready; convinced that he hadn't seen or felt enough misery to know the heartlessness that one had to possess to do what he did and not go insane. Chas had connections, he had a life, yet he was willing to throw it all away to become what he thought to be a superhero. It wasn't worth the sacrifice.

Not until they needed one. It was when Chas started to chant his first and his last that Constantine realized that his job could be done two ways.

With heartless vengeance, or with all the care in the world.

Chas, the inexperienced cab driver, the dreamer that he'd grown up to be, had been destined to sacrifice himself for a woman he barely knew; was destined to die in the face of his own faith. It had been his determination and selflessness that saved Angela; his assistance that saved the woman Constantine could now say he didn't want to live without.

He wasn't worried, however. There was no doubt that Chas was living free in heaven, living a hero's afterlife.

Constantine was at his grave now. He was still not very sentimental, but after three years of being with Angela, he'd grown just a bit more spiritual. Chewing the hundredth piece of gum he'd had that day, he stood just above the stone that was marked "Chas Kramer, beloved son." He hadn't gone to the funeral, he hadn't thought it was in his place to do so. So he visited, not often, but enough. It was on nights like this that he enjoyed walking through the cemeteries in solitude, when the sun was half way to setting and by the hour, it would be dark and the stars would give their faded glow against the cities lights. Today, a thin fog had settled in the city, and to anyone else, the burial ground would've seemed creepy, whereas the hell blazer found it peaceful.

He knew about spirits, he knew how the dead could watch over the living. He doubted that Chas was watching him now, even at his grave. If anything, he'd be watching him while performing an exorcism, or even simply driving to said job in a cab that was not his. He was sure of it; he felt him there, sitting beside him in the cab, like he'd always wanted to, partners in abolition. Defenders in deportation. Those were some of the names Chas had made up in one of his ramblings. The titles were idiotic, and yet a permanent and perfect reminder of the person that was Chas.

He placed his lighter next to Chas' grave. He knew he had to let it go, so in moving on, this seemed to be the right thing to do.

A very familiar voice came from behind-a relleck of the past.

"You quit smoking? After all these years of me telling you to quit, and you quit after I die?"

Constantine didn't turn around at first. He looked up, knowing that the Lord worked in mysterious ways. He stopped himself from laughing. How had he not seen this coming?

...

On his way home, he passed the church. He didn't go often, only when Angela wanted him there. He'd met her parents at church, which had been an...interesting experience. Apparently, she'd set him up, knowing he wouldn't willingly want to meet them. What she thought the meeting would accomplish was beyond him, but he knew it wasn't entirely her will, either. They'd been calling her more than often, probably begging to meet her knew "boyfriend." It'd been an entire six months and neither had seen him. At first glance, he read them instantly and knew that they suspected him of being some kind a felon. Their happily deluded expressions could have fooled anyone. Their greetings and hospitality could have drawn anyone in, but because they didn't, it only caused for more suspicion. On top of that, he didn't talk much, the only thing he could think about at the time being was Isabel and her childhood.

Over the three years of knowing each other, drastic changes ensued.

The first year, they'd asked about his job. He said he didn't have one, that he was a volunteer.

They'd asked what he volunteered for.

He said he saved lives.

And that was that for a while.

The second year, her mother vocalized her concern.

"You're supporting a secretive man with no intentions of getting a real job. We hardly know anything about him and you've been dating for two tears. What's going to happen when he proposes? Is he going to, or is he just using you?"

"Mother, how could you say that?"

"I'm just worried about you. I've been holding this in for too long, and I can't stand seeing you like this."

"Seeing me like what? Happy?"

"He's...a victim of the times. He's a mystery. He just makes my skin crawl whenever I see him. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"There is no way he would hurt me, mother. And he's not secretive."

"Then can you tell me more about what he volunteers for? He could be a criminal for all you know, a cheating-"

"He loves me! He would never-"

It was then that she realized he was right behind her. She hadn't heard the apartment door open; she's thought she was on the phone alone.

He took the phone from her hand, not even glancing at her face, her eyes threatening to release angry tears. His back was to her when he spoke.

"Ma'am?"

She couldn't hear her mother's exact words, but the tone was extremely aggravated.

"Ma'am, my past is something I like to put behind me, but if you want to know so badly, I'll tell you. At age 15, I tried to kill myself because I could see exactly what your daughter Isabel could see. I thought I was crazy, but when I woke up, I knew they were real. Since then, I've dedicated my life to deporting demons back to hell in an attempt to earn my way into heaven, but it wasn't until I met your daughter that I realized the true meaning of self-sacrifice."

He turned and looked into her eyes then.

"All of what I've said is true, you have my word because I'd rather not spend eternity in hell for lying, especially to someone like you. And as for my intentions, I'm planning on proposing sooner than you think."

He hung up.

The absolute truth was that he didn't care for marriage. He didn't need to prove his love to her with a ring and he didn't need to spite her parents. Although, spite sounded fun.

He placed the phone on the counter and took Angela in his arms. Their eyes never left the other's gaze.

"Marry me."

It was almost romantic, and he wasn't the most romantic man on the planet. She knew why he was proposing, he didn't much care for such a title, but she knew he'd live up to the commitment. There was nothing to lose, and yet not much to gain. They'd make it official and make little sacrifice in doing so. Something about that seemed to comfort both of them, however slight that comfort.

She nodded her consent, her words caught in her throat. He kissed her sadness away that night. He made her forget about her parents' disapproval. He made her forget about the entire world around them, even the demons that lurked in the shadows.

Not long after the proposal, her father came to visit.

"John." he said when the door was opened.

Constantine let him in, he was home alone. "Angela's at work." he said.

"Ah." her father nodded, walking in cautiously.

They were silent for a moment. Angela's father stood uneasily in the living room before Constantine offered that he sit.

"No, I'd-I'd rather stand. I'm not staying long, I just wanted to...talk to you actually."

Constantine was surprised at his straight forward answer and became attentive.

"What you said to my wife a few days back-"

"It's all true."

"I know, I know. I was just going to say that...it needed to be said."

Angela's father was now looking Constantine straight in the eyes, confidence and rebellion tracing his slightly wrinkled features. Constantine knew that his opinion was probably the opposite of his wife's; that he was here speaking his mind against the consent of his wife. He was speechless for a moment, surprised as well as impressed.

"We've been hiding from this for too long." Angela's father shook his head and sighed as he said this. "Isabel was...was the only one of us who wasn't...distracted, I guess you could say. We were all in denial." another sigh. "I don't want to be, anymore. You understand?"

The younger man nodded.

"Good. So, uh, Angela...she knows who you are? An...Excorcist?"

"Always has. Even before we met. Cop and all."

He nodded. "I know she cares about you more than she has any other man. She wouldn't have argued with her mother if she didn't." he paused. "So, you getting married?"

"Yeah."

"Well, do you know when?"

He shook his head no.

Angela's father smiled. "You even going to have a wedding, or you just going to sign the papers?"

Constantine allowed a small smirk. He'd rather there not be a wedding.

And to Angela's friends and families' disappointment., there wasn't one. Constantine was surprised to find out that so many of her colleagues were either mad at her for not having a wedding-or even a party-or shocked that she had married him, a long term suspect for many a case. Some were taking bets on how long they would last as a married couple. Some bet a few weeks, some bet a few months. None bet over a year.

So they all lost.

The third year, Angela's mother finally came around, her disapproval dissipating with the fact of Angela's happiness, however odd she found it. The news of having a grandchild was more than a solution to her questioning of her son-in-law, it was sign that she willingly accepted. This fact made Constantinie's life a great deal easier, having realized that even without demons, life was rough. He'd always beleved that humans could often times be harsher than the average half-breed.

Angela told Constantine first. I'd taken her a day after finding out to do so, but she managed. She spent most of that day working at the station, distracted as she was. She was happy despite her slight anxiety. It was an odd feeling. This child was hers. This child was Constantine's. This child was a gift, but how would he take the news? How would this change their lives? She wanted to be ready, but knew she wasn't.

She had nine months to be.

"John?" she said, entering their apartment.

She didn't hear a reply, so she assumed she wasn't home. It was a few hours until he was home, and by that point, she was already in bed.

He knew she wasn't asleep, so he turned on the light.

"Sorry. This job was out of town." he said.

"It's fine."

She wasn't afraid, she had to say it.

"I'm pregnant."

It was quiet between them for a moment. He looked down at her with thoughtful eyes and a vacant expression. She'd never seen him quite like this before. She'd seen him attentive and quiet, peaceful not a word that could describe him often, though he was a calm person. He was very purposeful, his every move one with intent, his every word carefully chosen, even his frequently vulgar comments. Nothing he did was without meaning.

But this was different. After a year of being married to him, she could easily say she'd never seen him faced with something he couldn't handle; something that shocked him or even surprised him. It was like this world was all too predictable, like he could see what lay in the near future let alone read minds. But right now, she knew he'd been caught off guard. And as a he sighed, she recognized exactly what he was at the moment. It was something she'd never truly witnessed in him.

He was amazed.

He lay next to her in an instant. He didn't say anything, he had no words. Truthfully, he didn't know how to feel, but he knew what he was going to do.

He would make sure that their child was loved. He would not let either of their pasts repeat, demons having scarred them both. He would protect their child from the demons, he would guide it through this life and teach it all he wished he'd been taught.

Though in the midst of their content, there was concern to be had.

People didn't used to matter to him. Fear didn't used to threaten him. Little did he know that with new people and new love came new fear.

**I don't want to beg for reviews, so I won't. I enjoy them, but its enough to just know someone's reading. I hope you all are enjoying this, otherwise I'd just be writing for myself. I think I have one more chapter in me. So, until then.**


	3. Every Good Thing

**A/N: I really wish this was more accurate, cause I know my characterization is a little off. I wish I'd read the comics, but maybe I'll find them somewhere soon. There are no bookstores in my town, which is extremely lame. **

**Thank you Emily for being the first to review, I'm very grateful :) **

**P.S. Because this is fan fiction, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I can bend some facts, though I'd like to be as accurate as possible. Just roll with whatever happens, because I have put a lot of thought into it. I have a feeling that half angels are supposed to be neutral, so that's what I'm going with. Please enjoy.**

Ticket to Heaven

Chapter 3: Every Good Thing

She had nightmares often in the beginning months of her pregnancy. He never told her, though he suspected that she already knew, that he'd expected such occurrences. She'd practically almost given birth to the devil's son, now she was actually pregnant. Most of her dreams consisted of that night, but never ended the same. There was always some bloody ordeal. She'd see Chas' death, sometimes worse than it actually had been, but mostly, she saw Constantine's death, a gruesome, non-self-inflicted one.

Luckily, her husband was a psychic, always prepared to bring her out of such dreams. He could sense it whenever her mind needed to be pulled out of her own subconscious, even when he was bone tired himself. It was unhealthy to be in such stress, especially in sleep. Especially when carrying developing new life.

Tonight was one of those nights.

It hadn't been two hours since they initially went to bed that she started to writhe from under the covers. His instincts kicked in rather fast, having only been half asleep. He raised himself slightly to hover above her, foreheads touching, his arms on either side of her, grounding her in her restless sleep. He reached into her mind then, witnessing what lay in her dream world.

It wasn't the first time she'd dreamed of hell before.

It was too dangerous to simply pull her out of this one. He focused solely on calming her into submission. He never relayed specific memories to her, but he did relay the energies. He thought of Heaven and the brief moment he was there. The feeling of being accepted by God alone was enlightening, but the sheer peace and prosperity that took over his soul was enough to pour into his wife's hole in her heart where this misery erupted from and so plagued her. It was enough to fix her every night, though it wasn't need that often, thank the Lord.

He opened his eyes abruptly, taking in Angela's relaxed, though still sweating face and forgetting the memory fast enough to rid the memory that would so rudely awake her.

Lucifer's wrath.

Does every good thing in his life have to end like this? With agony? He hoped not.

Though, it was Lucifer that granted him this third chance at life. Without that...he would never have had been able to tell Angela that she was his ticket to heaven; would have never seen the joy in her heart and mind with the news that he had been accepted back into the realm of the good. He tried not to think about Heaven and how wonderful it felt. He never wanted to speak the truth that if he had a choice between Heaven and Earth that he would choose Heaven. It was selfish and instinctual to prefer paradise over a place that he'd learned to fear and hate all his mortal life, but he knew it to be the truth. But if it meant leaving Angela behind...

No, he didn't want to think about it.

As "happy" as Constantine was about Angela's mother finally liking him, he was less appreciative of the fact that she frequently visited, especially in the later months of the pregnancy.

Surprisingly, she rarely asked about his family, somehow sensing the grim details. She now sympathized with him, as if wanting to learn more about the mysterious Exorcist that was Constantine, her son in law, father of her grandchild.

One of these visits, neither Angela or Constantine was home. She knew that Angela was at work finalizing her a case before she took leave while John was simply not there. Just when she was about to turn and leave the apartment building, Chas strolled by.

"Hey, Mrs. Dodson." he said. He reached for the locked door and opened it with no trouble. "Thought you'd be here."

Mrs. Dodson had only briefly met Chas once before, an odd meeting at that. She'd been talking to Angela in the living room when the-unknown to her-half angel walked in, heading for the kitchen. John had been reading a book when it happened, and he promptly got up in a slight huff. She couldn't hear them, but there was fierce whispering and when they came out, John was dragging the younger man by the collar of his shirt, saying they were going out, Chas all the while eating a piece of cheese cake. She never got the full explanation, and she knew she didn't want it, but knew that he had something to do with John's exorcism work.

"Thank you, Chas." she said. "Is John with you?"

"No, but he'll be here soon." he replied. When she went into the apartment, he looked over his shoulder, catching a last glimpse of the predator he'd just evaded. "We have a lot to talk about."

…

"A half breed followed her here?" Constantine asked, his voice low in volume, aware that Angela had just comes home by her mother's less than subtle greeting although it was another room away.

"And you protected her?" he pressed on.

"I'm allowed to protect civilians, remember? Even if they're related to you. That's what Midnite says, anyway."

Constantine thought a moment, knowing that he probably needed to see Midnite for a few reasons. He needed to know if Angela's dreams were related to something other than stress. He had his suspicions and there was no way he was taking her to a hospital, connection or not-and he had connections. Now he needed to know why half breeds were following his mother-in-law.

…

When they were close to Midnite's, Angela felt something and reached for her stomach, the pregnancy having only begun to show.

"What is it?" Constantine asked, sensing an energy slightly foreign to him. He knew that Angela sensed the same thing.

"...I don't know."

When the got out of Chas' cab, the feeling only grew stronger. Angela had to push through it, it somewhat fogging her mind. Half breeds surrounded them in seconds as they entered the night club, many of their eyes glowing in her direction. It was as if they knew more about what was going on in her own psychic mind then she did, which was highly plausible. She felt John's tight grip on her shoulder, protective even here when all the harm these otherworldly creatures could do was stare.

...

"Midnite, this is my mother we're talking about." Angela protested, he having denied giving any information. "She's not one of us, she doesn't even want to know that John's an exorcist."

Midnite thought for a moment, knowing the psychic capabilities of all three of his visitors, blocking them from his mind. Chas stood with them, obviously still annoyed that he was not yet allowed to be more than neutral. They all found it ironic that Chas had worked half of his mortal life to come to Midnite's, and now all he wanted was to get out.

"My best guess is that they're trying to get to both of you by getting to your parents."

"Yeah, no shit." Constantine remarked. "But why? Just for old kicks?"

"Is it because of the baby?" Angela asked, fear only a bit evident in her voice and eyes. Constantine only looked at her, then back at Midnite when he answered.

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps, my ass!" Constantine practically shouted.

"John." Midnite stood, completely unfazed by the other man's building rage. "You knew the dangers. You knew what it meant to get close to anyone, let alone start a family. Connection are getting easier and easier to make now that you're married, now that you have a family to attack."

Constantine stood there, staring at him, knowing he was right. His fists were clenched, anger rising, though for what exactly, he did not know. He was always angry when Midnite denied him his help, but he was used to that by know. Was it the world he was at odds with? Was it the demons, the half breeds, the devil? No, he couldn't blame them, even if they were the ones inflicting such pain.

He could only blame himself.

They all watched him as he relaxed, having thought this through. They'd all gotten somewhat used to his new outlook on life, his recklessness having died down some over the last three years.

"The baby..." he started to say, subconsciously reaching for Angela's hand. "It can sense things, can't it? It sensed we were coming here." He looked Angela in the eyes, she knew it too.

"Evidently, your child is quite powerful already."

"Another motive." Chas said under his breath, his imagination going wild with possibilities of what their child may face.

"Chas." Midnite said after a moment. "Because attacks like any kind upon an unborn child is something that will gravely disturb the balance, I'm appointing you as guardian angel."

Chas' eyebrows rose in astonishment. He nearly stopped himself from geeking out when a question arose. "For how long?"

"For as long as you're needed."

…

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Chas was a very supportive guardian angel, guarding not only Angela, but her parents as well. He was frequently denied the chance to go out on jobs with John, but with these circumstances, he didn't complain as much as he did when he was alive. He had a job now, too.

Constantine was nervous. Yes, that sentence doesn't sound possible, but he was. He never admitted it, but nervous energy, even masked with words of reassurance and the strongest of minds, was the most unavoidable energy. Angela, after months of frequent meditation-which is how she initally found out they were having s girl-felt she was more prepared then he was.

She finally got it out of him one night, the verbal admittance of his fears. She was surprised to learn that he was not only afraid for their daughter's safety, but for their daughter's wellbeing and his own ability to become what he needs to be in order to guarantee that wellbeing.

"I'm not afraid of being a father." he said, one arm wrapped around her as they sat on the couch, the other on her hand swollen stomach. "I just don't know how to be one."

"Not yet." Angela said. "But you will."

John looked deeply into her eyes. It had been nine months. She would be coming any day now. He prayed for the future often, prayed that this good thing would not turn out like all the other good things in his life-teared away from him.

Angela defied that apparent occurrence. So did Chas. His friends had all died in a battle for Earth, but God granted him grace, even if he wasn't completely free of all evils. But was anyone, really? t was all part of the plan, he believed.

He kissed her then, needing a temporary escape from his thoughts. She was quick to react, her hands reaching for his neck. Their frequent testaments of love reminded them both that they had gotten this far. Nothing was going to separate them. Constantine frequently found himself looking into the past, baffled by how vastly different the present was. In the past, he'd have never devoted himself so blindly to anyone for multiple reasons. Now he couldn't live without her, a woman of all things. Now he lived for her.

And now, he would live for their child.

"Angela..." he said, pulling away slightly. "I know what I want her name to be."

"What?"

"Heaven." he wanted to smile, but waited for her approval.

She kissed him again, then pulled away. "Perfect."

**I actually have more than this...so I guess there'll be one or a few more chapters. I'm trying to stray from cliche, so if anyone has some complaining to do, I don't ban flames. I also don't ban reviews...so...**


	4. Stay Close

**A/N: First of all, thank you ****Semjaza**** and ****Splishboom**** for reviewing. **

**This installment may seem a bit odd, so tell me if it's too disjointed with the first three chapters, because I've written many a version of this chapter and had a lot of scrambled ideas floating around. Anyway, please enjoy.**

Ticket to Heaven

Chapter 4: Stay Close

A demon in pursuit. Not an uncommon aspect of her life so far, actually, it was became more frequent an event as the years went by. But here, she was at a disadvantage. No guardian angel, no gun, and no other more experienced exorcists—namely her parents.

For some time, she's treated vanquishing the devil's army as somewhat of a game, knowing full well that she was not invincible, even with the amulet that her parents never let her out of the house with around her neck, but nowhere near immune to teenage ambition. She thought living without Chas as her guardian angel after she'd turned eighteen would be fine—more difficult, she had to admit-but fine.

Especially if her parents were by her side.

Unfortunately, they were not at the moment, and Heaven found herself running down the empty streets of LA, rain pouring down on the city as if it were a gift from God to a thirst ridden people in the ruins of a desert, making every step of her attempt at escaping more hazardous. Her boots cut through the rain like a knife through flesh she was so precise with her movements, no stranger to fleeing, though she's quite efficient in combat. Some conflicts are better avoided than faced head on, she's learned.

She climbed a fire escape, careful not to lose her grip on the slippery rusted metal of the latter. The demon was hot on her trail, but was caught off guard by the fire escape. She looked down briefly while running up the grated metal. His form had been more or less humanoid the last time she'd dared turn her eyes to him, now he had transformed into something more animalistic than human. She'd never seen anything like this before.

Seeing as it stopped under the latter, having difficulty unknown to her, Heaven took the chance to run into the building. She entered a hallway with a sharp turn and leaned her full body weight against the wall, catching her breath rather erratically. It was very warm inside and she could already feel her short hair drying. Her soaked dress clothes would need attention later if she didn't want them to be ruined, but as expensive as her outfit was, she knew it was less than the priority.

She took out her cell phone a called speed dial 2, the name "Dad" coming up on the screen briefly before she held it close to her ear. She heard him pick up fairly quickly, but he said nothing, waiting for her signal, unknowing if this was a call to merely pick her up from school or to get her out of a near death situation. Their past experiences had required such craft.

"Dad." She whispered.

The signal. "Where are you?" His voice was hush and straight, a strange mix of strict business and great concern meeting her ears.

"You're old apartment building, where you taught me how to use Dragon Breath."

The memory was a good one, but could not be dwelled upon.

"Stay close." Is the last thing he said before they both hung up.

Without much of a wait, she heard the beast break through the wall just behind her. She bolted, making the assumption that he'd either gotten stronger or bigger in the brief moments they'd been apart by the sound of its heavy footsteps. While turned corner to a long hallway, she chanced a glance back. Yep, he was bigger. She safely assumed that his speed had also been greatly affected by this growth and desperately tried to come up with a plan.

He was gaining on her quickly, teeth gnashing the air in anticipation for her flesh. She ran along the wall once met with a dead end, kicking herself off of it when having reached a good seven feet, twisting in the air and landing a steel toed boot into the face of the transformer demon. With a slight recoil, she reached for the knife she always carried up her sleeve and drove it into its skull, knowing it would only delay the beast.

She attempted to jump over the thing, it blocking the entire hallway, but its back leg caught her and pushed her to the ground, holding her there. Her wriggling was futile under its strength, and before she knew it, she was shoved into the wall, a massive claw ripped into her abdomen. She screamed, her eyes furious and locked with that of her enemy as it morphed back into a humanoid, the knife still lodged into its head. She had no idea why the amulet was having no effect on this demon.

Fear was not something foreign to her, in fact, she knew it well enough to control it, something she'd learned from her father when she was very young. Some of his best advice was about fear.

"Remember, fear is your friend because it keeps you alive, but only when you have peace with it. It's almost like a partner, you have to keep equal."

"Like you and mom."

A smirk, then a pat on the head, a lingering hand. "Yes. It's a drive. If you pretend you don't need it, you're screwed. If you let it take over, your screwed. but if you don't fear at all, any feelings means nothing and you're as good as dead."

"Because any feeling is better than no feeling?"

He hardly kissed her, so the feeling was rewarding. "Good girl."

It'd taken her a minute to realize that her life was flashing before her eyes. All could could see were memories of her parents. All she was aware of was the irony of that last memory as the feeling in her body spilled from her open wounds. She still looked the demon square in the face, unwilling to greet death with weakness. She tried speaking, but could not hear her own words. As the numbness began to spread, her vision became dark, control was forfeited to oblivion, light replacing everything.

...

Stay close.

The last words she'd heard him say were "stay close." He hadn't even gotten there quick enough to hear her last words, unless it was what she'd said on the phone.

Dad.

His normal cynical mind was not functioning, not even to entertain the thought of what she probably would have said to the bastard who did this to her.

Asshole.

Like father like daughter, Chas would say.

Nothing could lift him from this sorrow. Regrets flooded his mind, tears spilled from his eyes, blood already spilled on the wall and floor at his feet as well as his knees once he could no longer stand.

His blood. Angela's blood. Wasted. No act of revenge would bring her back or mend his guilt, he knew that now. The growing mystery of the demon who had done this did not plague him, he did not even question God. Nothing else existed. Not religion, not faith, not Heaven, not Hell, not Earth. There was nothing.

Close gunshots only half woke him from his mourning. Creatures of hell fell to the ground as the image of his wife running towards him woke him somewhat. It was then when he realized that he'd have let himself die, right then and there. He hadn't even noticed the demons, he thought, as he glanced just two feet away, one's body becoming ash.

Angela's face was unbearable, so he could only imagine what his looked like. They ended up kneeling beside their daughter already departed, holding each other with blood stained hands, smothering themselves within each other, as if they wished to disappear. In a hurting, grounding grip, John did not cry. Void of true sadness, he felt a familiar and numbing bitterness take over, an old condition he thought was long gone from him after Heaven's birth. What did this mean? There is a plan. What was this meant to accomplish?

...

3 years earlier

John and Heaven sat in his old apartment. Many of his things still resided their, so it was more like a storage unit for the supernatural. She'd only been there a few times, all behind her mother's back, her mother sensitive to all the weapons he owned.

"You're almost 18." John said.

"I'm only 15." She stated.

John stared at her for a long moment. She had his eyes and Angela's frame. He knew she had Angela's hair, but because she refused to let it grow out, it looked darker and more like his own. Every day, she changed. She was growing taller, curvier, smarter, God, he hated how fast time was slipping away. He doubted she would grow to be as tall as he was, but the taller she got, the more he felt she would be lost to him. The fear of losing her was now a dull pain in the back of his mind, having lived with it for so long. He feared her going out in the world, alone. He feared her corruption, he feared that she would end up like him. She looked so much like him, talked and acted so much like himself that it almost scared him. Pride was also a side effect to having sired such a well-rounded, seemingly fearless child. He knew Angela felt the same way, yet another mental connection they shared.

They were sitting across the worn table from each other, an array of interesting things spread out before them. They had known of Midnite's cut off for a few weeks, and since they'd known, John had been here rummaging through everything he owned to make sure that his daughter had the perfect arsenal. She knew this to be his most common show of affection, protecting her. He was not the most affectionate man on the planet, but she knew more than anything that he loved her.

He just didn't show it like any of the normal dads.

"You need to know how to use these, even if Angela doesn't want you to." He sighed. "She knows how much danger you're in. Even with Chas."

"She doesn't want me to grow up." Heaven added.

John nodded. "True."

"And she's a cop." Heaven said.

John was lost. "And?"

"She's a cop, so she's allowed to have a gun. I'm an exorcist in training. So where's my gun?"

John was amused with his daughter's logic, a bit off in this stage of life. He got up, Dragon's Breath in hand. "You know what, you don't need a gun when you can have a flame thrower."

It was Heaven's turn to be confused with her father's logic. "How am I gonna get away with having a flame thrower if I can't even have a gun?"

John held up the tube, straight face on. "Does this look like a weapon to you?"

Heaven couldn't suppress a smirk as he led her to the hallway and up the stairs to the roof of the building.

...

John woke up with a start, the memory having felt so real. His heart sunk as soon as he remembered their loss, having had a fleeting thought of checking her room, no matter the hour of the night.

But her room would be empty.

It took him a moment before he realized that he was alone and fully dressed. He and Angela had more or less spent the rest of their dreary day in bed with full intentions of investigating their daughter's murder in the morning.

The atmosphere was monochromatic. Because of his awareness, he knew he was in between the dream world and reality. He got up slowly, looking out the window to see cars and people halted in the middle of the street. There was even a plan stopped in midair. he stepped out of the bedroom and saw her, full of color and looking amazingly alive. She was standing there, just on the other side of the couch, dressed in her favorite attire; maroon dress shirt and black vest, black skinny jeans and steel toed boots with the golden buckles on the side.

"Heaven..." He whispered, unknowing if this was a figment of his grieving mind or some kind of apparition. Because this was happening in his subconscious, emotion did not affect him as easily as it did in reality. Her intentions, he guessed.

"Dad." she said. "This had to happen."

"Why?" He asked outright.

"For my assignment to begin."

John did not question, he only remained silent, waiting for more explanation. She was the one to walk closer to him, an answer to a question he had not asked. So this is real.

"God intended for me to have an eternal job. That's the reason so many were after me my whole life, to prevent my ascending."

"What job?" John pressed on, the word "eternal" setting him off completely. Would he never be able to be with her again? Not even after this mortal life?

"I'm meant to stop the demons before they even reach Earth. At least the deadliest ones. If this had happened any later, Earth would have been mobbed with more demons then we could ever have manage to deport."

"Why?"

"An outbreak. It has something to do with an imbalance on Earth."

John could tell that she wasn't telling the whole truth. "What caused the imbalance?"

She hesitated. "Me."

He recoiled, taking one half step away from her figure. "How?"

"My power was not meant for Earth. I was never meant to stay."

"So you were born to die!" He broke out in frustration. "You were born to...to become this, this eternal...what, security guard?" His anger was rising, his sense returning to him as he felt his subconscious state fade slightly. He would be waking soon. Her figure began to fade as well, to a more ghostly white.

"Daddy, I'm protecting you and Earth. I'm actually saving you some work so you can live your life."

"I didn't want a sacrifice, I want you!"

"I'm never leaving you! You're the one who taught me about spirits!" She lunged at him then, her arms around him, her touch almost nonexistent; a faint feather touch though he could see her full embrace.

"I'll always be with you." She finished.

All he could do was stare at her for a moment, like he used to. He took her face in his hands and could hardly feel anything, but held her anyway. "So that demon...was sent after you by God?"

"Which was why the amulet didn't work. Yes. But daddy, you have to understand-"

"I do. I do understand. It doesn't mean I'll accept it, but I understand."

She pulled away, their eyes meeting more meaningful than a now nonexistent touch. "Know that I love you."

John, not being the most affectionate man on the planet, was glad that she could read his mind.

...

He woke on the couch in the living room, fully aware of what had just happened. He sat up and briefly looked at where he and Heaven had been standing, then got up to look for Angela.

He found her in Heaven's room, lying on the bed. She looked at him standing in the doorway, but she did not move.

"Did you talk to her?" she asked.

So she'd visited Angela first.

"Yeah." he replied, making his way towards her. He knelt down beside the bed and took her hands in his.

"She said life would be easier this way." her voice was low, almost a whisper.

"In a way." He replied.

They were like that for a long time. They knew life would go on. Just how though, was a mystery to them at this point.

**Sorry to end the chapter on such a bad note, but I'm actually running out of writing time. I'm thinking of writing one more chapter or an epilogue, or both, so tell me what you think and I'll see you then.**


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